*sigh

"Best I Ever Loved"

So I sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to say
Love can be so boring

Nothing's quite the same now
I cant say your name now

[Chorus]
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever loved
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever loved

So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the words
Leaves me down and lonely

Send it in a letter
Make us both feel better

[Chorus]
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever loved
You don't need me back
You're just the best I ever loved

And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were never mine
You're never mine 

So I sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to say
Love can be so boring

What was it you wanted
Don't make me feel haunted

[Chorus]
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever loved
I don't want you back
You're just the best I ever loved
The best I ever had
The best I ever

the sweet memories we shared

Last night, a good friend of mine sent me a text message.

'Thank you for the sweet memories'

Reading it made me remember that just a few weeks ago, another good friend of mine had said those exact words.

Of course, those arent the only words in the message, and the message as a whole, made me feel really empty. But the words acted like a significant finale, one that would assure that it stays in the head of the spectator.

I guess, one should be thankful that he/she even has memories, good ones or bad ones. At least, by having those memories, we know what we've been through life. It is like earning something from the past, something that can remain forever, as long as we still  have our sanity and memory that is. But, as much as I appreciate those memories, I also have that dangerous feeling of wanting to erase the past that i wish not see again. The scars from the past that almost always, clouds all the happy memories that I have ever had in my life. The guilt, the anger and the regret. They haunt not just me but many of us. And some suffer through out their whole life time. *shudder*. Those people, I believe, forgot one essential value in life, forgiveness. To forgive another person for being such an asshole, to forgive a loved one for hurting our deepest feelings and to forgive ourselves for making all the mistakes we never intend to do (things just went wrong ryte?). Without forgiveness, we could never let go of the cold harsh memories. Without letting go, the memories would always come back to hurt us more, instead of teaching us.

To say that i had so many bad experience is probably an exaggeration. Life is like a roller-coaster and maybe, right now, i'm at the lowest point of my life, thus explaining me being a little dramatic here. Forgive me of my imperfections. =p. But, to say that I have only a handful of good memories is a lie. Thank Allah, for blessing me with such wonders. Such a wonderful life. And it makes me really happy, if I could share my contentment with others.   

Despite all the mistakes that I had done in the past, I'm glad that at least those people I care for remember the good times we had. And that person who sent me the message last night, don't ever convict me of not remembering those times we had. Of course I remember, the jokes that we shared in your car, the heart-to-heart talks, the long chats on the phone, the shopping sprees (which you always end up buying twice more), the movies at Cineleisure, the nights out at Mamak stalls or Hartamas, the mess I always made in your car after eating, the choux we made together, the study groups (haha), and ooh, the pictures we took (with all those silly silly looks). =)...I remember them all, and I know I will cherish them forever.

Those times were wonderful and I really hope you don't regret everything that has happened.

Around 16days left, with nothing to do at home, it is only natural for me to feel a little nostalgic. But I am, sincerely, thankful to everyone who has ever been in my life.